How Do You Know if You Have BUY-ITE-US?

In 2017, the flu got a lot of people, myself and my husband included. It hit hard with little warning.  And we weren’t alone: a lot of friends got it, and some ended up in the hospital.  The problem with the flu is that  the vaccine doesn’t always cover what is actually out there.  BUY-ITE-US (the strong desire to purchase) is likewise indiscriminate on whom it strikes, for it can hit all ages.  Fortunately, unlike the flu however, a cure exists from this malady, and YOU are the only one who can completely remedy it with three  simple cures.

                             What Exactly is BUY-ITE-US?

BUY-ITE-US could best be defined as “a strong desire to buy—anything.”  This malady usually hits when you don’t have any money at the end of the month or even when you do at the beginning; and if you use Amazon Prime, it can strike late in the evening when you’ve had too much wine to drink.  It is a dangerous disorder that can wreck your credit ratings, divide a happy marriage, and generally leave you wondering what hit. 

This might be a clue to your challenge!

BUY-ITE-US can wreak havoc if one can’t control it, and it is particularly challenging around Christmas time. 

                                What Can BUY-ITE-US Do to You?

As stated this malady inflicts destruction on your life.  We want happiness, and somehow we think that shopping therapy will help.  But it doesn’t because our desire to feel better doesn’t get better.  We just end up with more stuff and no place to put it.  Only God can give us that feeling of peace and contentment if we but let Him.  The other main problem with this impulse buying is that everything should have a place in our homes, and if there is no space or place then you don’t need everything.  So what is the best way to deal with our wants versus our needs?

                                 How Can I Cure BUY-ITE-US?

                           Three cures exist for this condition. 

The first major cure is TITHING.  Now if you haven’t tithed before, here is what it looks like.  You take 10% of your incoming funds and give that percent to your church or a mission which you feel important.  That is God’s leading.  As The Frugal Catholic said last month, “Give to God His 10% due and 90% blessed will He return to you.  Truthfully, by giving away that first 10%, something happens in your brain.  You become more content with what you have and the desire to acquire is diminished.  Also by tithing, everything seems to last longer.  It is the same concept as when Elijah asked the widow for food in  1 Kings 17:7.  What she had, although very little, lasted well over many days.  Tithing is supernatural, but if you feel leery about tithing 10%, then begin with 5%, or wherever you can.  You will watch the Lord provide in amazing ways.

                     The Widow of Zarephath

⁸ Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, ⁹ “Go now to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and live there; for I have commanded a widow there to feed you.” ¹⁰ So he set out and went to Zarephath. When he came to the gate of the town, a widow was there gathering sticks; he called to her and said, “Bring me a little water in a vessel, so that I may drink.” ¹¹ As she was going to bring it, he called to her and said, “Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand.” ¹² But she said, “As the Lord your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of meal in a jar, and a little oil in a jug; I am now gathering a couple of sticks, so that I may go home and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” ¹³ Elijah said to her, “Do not be afraid; go and do as you have said; but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterwards make something for yourself and your son. ¹⁴ For thus says the Lord the God of Israel: The jar of meal will not be emptied and the jug of oil will not fail until the day that the Lord sends rain on the earth.” ¹⁵ She went and did as Elijah said, so that she as well as he and her household ate for many days. ¹⁶ The jar of meal was not emptied, neither did the jug of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord that he spoke by Elijah.

The second major cure is to take stock of what you have when BUY-ITE-US hits.  For example, although I was really into used clothing, my closet now holds about one-fourth of what it did.   Everything that didn’t feel just right was let go and slowly the preferred brand names were purchased.  In taking stock too, look at your food and arrange cans or products so you can read them.  Often we purchase more of something because we aren’t taking stock of what we have.

The third major cure sounds easy but it’s not.  Number three is to stay out of stores.  Yes, that includes ALL stores, on line and the kind you walk into.  Just remember “SOS”  or “Stay Out of Stores.”  Now if staying out of stores is too hard, you can always go to your Amazon wish list and go shopping that way.  99% of the time that “Wish List” shopping helps remove the ITCH of Buy-ite-us. Just don’t push the “buy now” button.  Not wise when no monies.

                    What Will My Life Look Like Without BUY-ITE-US?

When you mentally get control of your spending by tithing, taking stock of what you have, and staying out of stores (SOS),  you will most likely get better at living within your means through budgeting.  In the 38 years of marriage, the more closely we have tithed, the easier and more satisfying budgeting became.   A budget is just like a train track; it is a path to run on.   I also find that creating that  Amazon wish list and NOT buying is very satisfying.  So give these tricks a try–tithing,  budgeting, and staying out of stores.   The beauty of living this life as a Catholic Christian is that we are not in charge; God is.  The closer we come to living His will, the happier our lives become.

Dear Readers,

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a convenient place to deposit prayer requests?   Well, after much  research, I’ve  found that prayer depository, and it’s  called Your Gold Bucket, Golden Box,  or  whatever you wish to call it.  The best part, however, is  it’s free, requires no space, and is only visible to God.   This idea comes from my friend Oryssia Earhart, who is a fiction writer and substitute teacher in the Archdiocese of Seattle.  Oryssia, who graduated Magna Cum Laude with her  Masters degree in Theology from Augustine Institute,  shared this valuable concept; and  I believe you will find her idea complete and easy to use.

Blessings,

Martha

martha@thefrugalcatholic.com

___________________________________

 

1. How did you come up with the mental image of a golden bucket holding your prayers? 

Answer: I was having problems trying to remember all the names people gave me to pray for others, themselves, etc.   My poor mind couldn’t hold it all in.      Then I was watching TV and someone was talking about things to put into your bucket list to do before you die.   Suddenly,  it hit me— I don’t need that kind of bucket list.  Instead, I needed a mental gold bucket for prayers.  So I asked God to please remember everyone who had asked me to pray for them, plus the holy souls in purgatory who need our prayers, and to put their names into that container.   Now every time someone asks me to pray for them, I mentally write their name on a beautiful piece of paper and watch it float into the bucket.   Every day, when I say the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet,  I ask God to apply both to everyone in my Gold Bucket.    And in this way, when someone asks me to pray for them, I mentally put them into my bucket, and they’re good for a rosary and chaplet.   Now my poor brain is happy!

 2. Do you know if any of your prayers have been answered?

Answer: I don’t know and I don’t ask.   I leave that to God.   My job, as I see it, is to continue to pray– to be faithful to all who are in the bucket.   Even if a prayer has been answered, there will probably be more problems that the person has to deal with and will need more prayers.  You know what’s interesting?   The bucket, holding all those souls, including those in purgatory, has never gotten filled.   Amazing.

3.  Greatest advantage?

Answer: I let God do the remembering.   All I do is add another name. He knows who’s in the bucket, and he knows that my prayers are for all of them.   Incredible freedom.

4. Advice?

Answer: Use my idea, or come up with your own.   Maybe others who have better memories than I don’t need a Gold Bucket for prayers, but I’ve found that I don’t stress anymore if I forget to pray for someone.   I let God take care of a lot in my life,  and  I know He’ll give me the strength and  ideas on how to fix my challenges.  It is a relief to put my whole life and trust  into His hands and not let little things bother me.   I love doing God’s will instead of mine.

One thing I learned in my graduate program, from Augustine Institute,  is that we come from God, and we have to get back to Him if we are to have perfect happiness.  God gave us lots of tools to help us return–the Church, Sacred Scripture, the Sacraments, and prayer.  The Father wants us to live our lives with Christ’s love and joy and do  The Father’s Will.

I love and live by Mother Teresa’s precept:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered,
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.”

A final though which I find  to be very important is  “to learn how to get closer to God.” The best way I’ve found to draw nearer  is to do a  Holy Hour of Adoration every week.   Jesus doesn’t ask much of us, but He wants to give us His divine life.   Still we have to learn how to be friends with Him,  love Him, and express that love.   So spending time with Him for one hour a week in Adoration is not asking too much, is it?   Wouldn’t you do that for someone you loved?   I want to go to Heaven for that is my real home.   And right now, I am trying to do whatever I can to get there  because I want to be with God.  Nothing else matters.

Some folks are born straight:  others are crooked to the core.  I am one of the latter.  Case in point.  When I was young, I asked God for curves;  I just didn’t specify where.  He gave me lovely curves at age 18– in my spine from Adolescent Idiopathic Scoliosis (AIS).  The moral to the story is to PRAY SPECIFICALLY, whether you’re straight  or not.  Well I am straighter now, (two and one-half inches taller)  and without pain because of complex spine surgery in Seattle  this April  by  Rajiv Sethi, MD and Jean-Christophe Leveque, MD at Virginia Mason.   In my 70 years, this has been my greatest physical test,  yet my most tender time of growth with my heavenly Father.  Life throws us curves, but God is always beside us  to make our paths straight.

So what “CURVES” are you struggling with —weight loss,  exercise, a new baby, a new move, a new job. . .  ?    We have an Elder Brother who knows firsthand how hard life is, and He imparts  the strength for that straight.  As it says in Matthew 3:3, “This is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah spoke when he said, ‘The voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.”  By hanging on to Jesus in all of our challenges, we can form better pathways.

                                           What’s Your Curve?

None of us are without challenges; we are all carrying around some curve.   Christ, however, came to set us on a straight path to holiness– His joy. Nehemiah 8:10“…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”  And His joy is forged from forgiveness–of ourselves and others.     (“Father,  forgive them for they know not what they do”–as Christ said on the Cross.)  Correcting a CURVE is something like finding that joy through forgiveness.  It is hard work, it can be painful, and it feels  like it might do you under.  But, if you let it, that curve can be straightened out.  And the process could  help you become “the best version of yourself” as Catholic author and speaker Matthew Kelly says.  The interesting part is that with each new straight we acquire, God needs to rewire us.

                                                    God’s Rewiring

If our paths are crooked then God must reboot.  For me it meant learning to stand  and walk again without listing to the left, the direction my body remembered.   Fortunately I don’t have to think about it because  those 25 screws and three rods down my spine have  begun to rewire my brain.  My mind has also learned   that my spine isn’t  where it was; it has been reconfigured into a more normal shape and I am no longer feeling deformed or pain like  I did for 50 years.  It has taken three months  of work (like learning to walk again 🙂  but  each day, God has been lovingly reprogramming my mind.

                                           My Student’s New Straight

One of my former students, Mike,  shared his desire for a new straight by losing weight.  He stated, “It would help me not to cheat in little ways if I imagined a steel trap on my mouth that is locked shut and only unlocks at meal time in the presence of small portions of healthy food.”  That is a great “new straight” visualization  tool which God can employ.    Remember, my brain kept wanting to lean to my left,  but my new straight won’t allow me : I am locked in  with permanent screws, bolts, and rods.  So find a visual image or some kind of a mental tool  which can help you focus on  your desires.

                               My Homeless Friend’s New Straight

My  friend, Elizabeth,  has been living out of her truck for months, yet she too is learning a new straight.   She didn’t set out to be homeless.  She lost her job and has been using community and  faith resources to keep alive. Today she knocked on my front door with good news, “I got a job mowing the golf course.  Part time 20 hours a week for $13 an hour.”  As a former architect, that job is below her goals, but it is work.  Today in morning Mass she cried to  God to show her His love.  He gave her a job:  Her new straight.

What has she learned from this journey?  She has learned gratitude, lack of envy, and to trust in God no matter what huge new straights He has shaped.

                                                          The Big Plow

Sometimes when we are plowing through life, we aren’t paying attention.  When God gave me children, He imparted a desire to teach them all at home;  so I  home-schooled all five of them for a total of twenty-two years.  In that journey to educate my offspring, I came across a wonderful scripture that kept me going.  It states,  Luke 9:62  Jesus said to him, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”   Know why?  Well if you had a plow and an ox  in front of you and turned  to  gaze  at your work accomplished, what would the plowed rows ahead  look like?  That’s right.  BIG CURVES.  Yes, if I had lusted for an easier way than to home school, my eyes would have been on my goal, not God’s goal for me.    So no matter what STRAIGHT you might desire or need,  take His hand on this marvelous journey,  keep your eyes on His plow,  and have faith in His plan for His love will get you through.

When my mother died four years ago, her final words to me were, “Your arms are too fat, and remember the poor.” Those words described our kinship.  Our relationship wasn’t what I wanted, but it was the one God gave me;  and it was the only one Mom knew how to give, for we can only give what we have received.  Mom’s words, however unkind they seemed at the time, did inspire me to lose weight and keep it off and to begin selling my dishcloths to purchase farm animals for the poor through Catholic Relief Services.   Her words accomplished their mission.

Now maybe your relationship with your mother is or was better than mine, or perhaps it’s worse.  After all, the only person who could chose His mom was Jesus.  And better yet, He gave  His Beloved Mother to us when he was being crucified on the cross which now means that we too  have the best Mom possible.

So how is your relationship with Your Blessed Mother this Easter season?  She wants to show you.

I first learned of this lovely tradition from Kimberly Hahn, mother of six and wife of Dr. Scott Hahn, a well-known Catholic author and speaker.  She told her children that whenever they find a PENNY, it is her way and Mary’s way of saying, “Your mother loves you.”

Therefore when you are down, look down, and most often you will find a penny on the sidewalk or street.  Ask Mary to show her concern, and some shiny copper will appear letting you know.  Feel alone or confused?  Well that small coin will show you aren’t.

Hence the next time you find that one-cent piece, pick it up and thank God for your Mom—your Blessed Mother, your biological mother, or your adoptive one. Then if you think about it, drop that penny into the collection for the poor:  She dearly loves them too.