"Don't Take the Bait: A Senior's Guide to Outsmarting Catfishing Scams" by Sharon Wagner and M.W. King

Don't Take the Bait: A Senior's Guide to Outsmarting Catfishing Scams

For seniors stepping into the digital world with cautious optimism, the possibilities are endless—and so are the pitfalls. Among the most deceptive dangers is catfishing: when someone pretends to be someone else online to manipulate, exploit, or emotionally deceive. This kind of scam is no longer limited to shady dating sites or distant social networks. Today, it's increasingly personal, intimate, and disturbingly compelling. What's more, it can happen to anyone. If you're a senior—or love someone who is—it's essential to know what to look for, how to respond, and how to protect your digital self without retreating from the internet entirely.

Unfamiliar Intimacy That Escalates Quickly

One of the earliest signs that you're dealing with a catfisher is when someone you've just met online becomes intensely personal too soon. You may find them calling you darling, sharing secrets, or expressing strong romantic interest almost immediately. This isn't just flattering—it's strategic. Catfishers often mimic the pace of genuine connection to draw you in emotionally before your guard goes up. If you or a loved one is suddenly involved in an online relationship that seems like a whirlwind romance, hit pause and ask some hard questions.

Stories That Don't Line Up When Retold

Over time, scammers slip up. They'll forget details they told you previously or change aspects of their stories—jobs, family situations, even where they live. These inconsistencies aren't quirks; they're red flags. If someone you're chatting with seems to have a flexible relationship with the truth, don't feel guilty for keeping a record or re-reading old messages. Spotting these shifts can be the wake-up call that something's not right.

A Refusal to Meet in Real Life or Video Chat

When an online connection repeatedly avoids phone calls, video chats, or in-person meetups, that's cause for concern. They might offer excuses about poor internet, time zone differences, or a demanding job. But a consistent pattern of avoidance is classic catfish behavior. Real people with a genuine interest in you want to connect authentically, and they won't hide behind a screen forever. If you've never seen the face of the person you've grown close to online, you're working with blind trust—and that's dangerous.

Not Protecting Documents Before Sending Them

Sending personal or financial documents over email without any safeguards can expose seniors to unnecessary risks. Scammers often intercept these files and use the information to commit identity theft or financial fraud. One wise precaution is to secure a PDF using a password before sharing it electronically, which limits access to only trusted recipients. Adding this layer of protection makes it harder for bad actors to exploit your information, giving you peace of mind in the process.

Sudden Emergencies That Require Money

Perhaps the most telltale move in a catfish scam is the moment they ask for financial help. The story may be heart-wrenching: a sick child, a visa problem, a frozen bank account. You might feel honored that they "trust" you enough to ask for support. But make no mistake—this is where emotional manipulation peaks. If money enters the conversation, stop all communication immediately and seek advice from someone you trust in person.

Social Media Clues That Don't Add Up

Seniors are increasingly active on Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms, which also means scammers are there, too. One way to check someone's authenticity is by scanning their profiles. Look for friends who seem real, not just stock-photo accounts with no posts or activity. Real people tend to post a variety of content and interact with others meaningfully. Catfishers often have brand-new accounts or ones with oddly curated timelines and limited interactions. When in doubt, reverse-image search their profile photo to see if it's lifted from somewhere else.

Steps to Take When Something Feels Off

If you sense that someone online isn't who they claim to be, the most critical move is to stop communication and document everything. Take screenshots, save emails or messages, and avoid confronting them directly. Instead, report the account to the platform (whether it's Facebook, Instagram, or a dating site) and consider filing a report with the FTC or your local law enforcement. Talk to someone you trust—a family member or friend—who can offer a clear-eyed perspective. Silence can be isolating and dangerous; speaking up is how you get back control.

How Family Members Can Play a Supporting Role

Seniors shouldn't have to navigate the digital landscape alone. If you're a family member, make sure your loved one knows you're a safe person to talk to about online relationships. Be curious, not judgmental. Ask who they're chatting with and offer to help them vet unfamiliar contacts. Set up simple privacy settings on their devices, and teach them how to recognize phishing emails or suspicious DMs--direct messages, or private messages sent on social media such as Instagram or Facebook. Consider it a digital buddy system—something that protects, educates, and empowers.

Navigating the online world as a senior doesn't have to feel like walking through a minefield, but it does require awareness and support. Catfishers count on isolation, emotional vulnerability, and the allure of connection to run their schemes. By recognizing the signs early, taking cautious steps when red flags appear, and staying anchored to real-world support, you can enjoy the benefits of digital connection without the heartbreak of being scammed. The internet should be a bridge, not a trap—and with the proper guidance, it can be just that.

Discover budget-friendly tips and heartwarming stories at The Frugal Catholic, where faith meets frugality to enrich your life and support those in need!

Exodus 20: 16-- You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." [God's warning against lying as found in the Ten Commandments.]

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Sharon Wagner, who writes from Wisconsin, also publishes a blog for seniors. She can be found at sharon@seniorfriendly.info

Martha Wild King, M.Ed., Author

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